We’re Not Competing — We’re Collaborating: Why We Need Each Other to Win

The older I get, the more I realize none of us truly wins alone. Every milestone, every “I did it!” moment in my life has had someone quietly standing behind it — a mentor, a friend, a coach, a colleague, a cheerleader. Somewhere along the way, we were taught that success meant doing it on our own, climbing the ladder faster than everyone else, but the older — and hopefully wiser — I become, the more I see how false that is. Life isn’t a solo sport. We’re not playing against other people. We’re playing with them.

When I look back, I can see that I’ve always thrived in the company of others. I work better in groups. I think better in conversation. I create better when I’m bouncing ideas around. Even now, if someone tells me about a great book or a brilliant talk, I’ll go find it — not because I feel like I’m behind, but because I’m inspired. I love surrounding myself with people who make me want to stretch further, to become the next version of myself.

That realization didn’t come from business — it started somewhere far more personal.

The Power of Having Someone to Walk With

Years ago, I had a dear friend I’d meet every morning to walk. Rain or shine, we were out there. It was as much therapy as it was exercise. We talked about everything, family, work, purpose, dreams. Some mornings we’d walk fast and ambitious, others we’d slow down and just breathe together. But here’s what I noticed: if she didn’t walk, I didn’t walk.

After I moved away, I told myself I’d keep it up. But the truth is, I didn’t. Not with the same consistency. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to — it’s that the connection was what got me out of bed.

Having someone waiting for me, someone who expected me to show up, made all the difference.

That simple truth, that we need each other to show up fully, carries through everything in life. Whether it’s walking, growing, healing, or building something new, it’s easier when we’re not doing it alone.

The Athlete Who Learned It’s Not About Beating Others

Most people don’t know this about me, but I grew up as a competitive athlete. I was All-State in three sports. I loved the drive, the adrenaline, the challenge. Later, I got into triathlons and bike races. Things that tested my endurance and mindset. But even then, it was never about beating anyone else. I was never chasing the next person on the leaderboard. I was chasing myself.

Every year, my goal was to do a little better than the year before — to shave off a few minutes, to hold a steadier pace, to stay calmer through the chaos. It was about becoming a better me, not proving that I was better than someone else.

And if I could help another athlete along the way, I did. That’s just who I am, in sports, in business, and in life.

Competition, for me, was always internal. The external world might have seen it as rivalry, but I saw it as growth. And that has carried through everything I do now.

Athletics taught me early on that it’s the team part that truly matters—the shared drive, the trust, the collaboration. Even now, when I talk to leaders, I often ask if they played sports in school. It reveals so much about how they understand teamwork, resilience, and the power of collective success.

The best teams aren’t built on competition. They were built on collaboration.

Leadership Is a Team Sport

In my years as an executive, I surrounded myself with smart people who saw things I didn’t, who challenged me to think differently, who weren’t afraid to disagree. I never wanted to be the smartest person in the room. My gift wasn’t knowing everything; it was facilitating brilliance. I learned early that leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about creating the space where the best answers can rise.

When I look back at my most successful initiatives, none of them happened because I was extraordinary. They happened because we were extraordinary together.

Even now, as I’ve stepped into entrepreneurship, I notice that same pattern showing up again. For years I tried to build everything alone, the vision, the programs, the movement. But my spirit knows better. Collaboration is my natural state. I’m at my best when I’m surrounded by others brainstorming, co-creating, supporting, and lifting each other higher.

It’s taken me time to accept that asking for help isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.

Growing Up in the ’80s — When Success Meant More, Not Meaning

I grew up in the 1980s, an era defined by competition, consumerism, and comparison. Success was loud back then. It was measured in possessions from the car you drove, to the size of your home, and the label on your clothes. It was the decade of greed; more money, more things, more proof that you were “making it.”

And for a while, I bought into it.

When I turned twenty-five, I bought myself a Porsche and went skiing in Europe. At the time, that was my version of success. Tthe external validation that said, I’m doing well. But as I sit here decades later, I drive a ten-year-old Honda and couldn’t care less what anyone thinks. I’m not chasing things anymore. I’m cultivating peace, connection, and purpose.

Success, for me now, isn’t about what sits in my driveway. It’s about who sits around my table. It’s not about what I own. It’s about who I am becoming — and the people I get to become that person with.

We’re in a new era, one where collaboration has replaced competition as the true currency of success.

Somewhere along the line, I realized I’d been playing the wrong game. Life was never about outdoing anyone. It’s about outgrowing who you were yesterday.

Redefining the Game

Somewhere along the line, I realized I’d been playing the wrong game. Life was never about outdoing anyone. It’s about outgrowing who you were yesterday.

In my athletic days, I learned that the finish line is personal. In leadership, I learned that no one crosses it alone. And in entrepreneurship, I’ve learned that collaboration is the only sustainable way forward.

That shift changes everything.

When we stop competing against others and start creating with them, our world expands. Ideas multiply. Opportunities appear. Energy rises. We move from scarcity to abundance.

I often say that no one can truly “do” business the way you do it — because your unique genius, your experiences, and your energy are your own. But that doesn’t mean we’re meant to walk separate paths. It means when we bring our individual brilliance together, something far greater emerges.

The future belongs to the collaborators, not the competitors.

The Soul Professional Movement — Collaboration in Action

When I created The Soul Professional Movement, I didn’t realize at first that it was the living embodiment of this belief. The Movement was born from the simple knowing that we rise faster, higher, and stronger when we rise together.

The people who join this community don’t see others as rivals; they see them as allies. They understand that when one of us shines, it illuminates the path for everyone else.

Over the years, I’ve watched incredible collaborations form inside the community through partnerships, joint ventures, and creative projects all sparked by authentic connection. There’s something sacred about gathering with others who believe in abundance, not competition. It reminds us that we’re not alone, that our purpose is intertwined with something much larger than ourselves.

That’s the essence of what I call authentic success. It’s not about having more; it’s about being more together.

If you’ve ever felt that pull toward deeper collaboration, I invite you to explore what it means to live and work as a Soul Professional. You can start simply by signing the Soul Professional Pledge, a declaration that you’re part of a global shift toward conscious, collaborative, purpose-driven success.

The Science (and Soul) of Why We Need Each Other

There’s even science behind why collaboration feels so good. Our brains are wired for connection. When we engage positively with others, our mirror neurons light up, our serotonin rises, and we experience a sense of belonging that’s essential for growth.

But beyond the science is something deeper, something soulful.

When we collaborate, our energy fields expand. We attract more of what aligns with us because we’re not operating from fear or scarcity. We open channels for creativity, abundance, and joy.

In spiritual terms, collaboration is co-creation. It’s the Universe working through us collectively, reminding us that we’re all part of the same fabric.

What Collaboration Has Taught Me

Every meaningful success in my life has come from collaboration. Sometimes in ways I didn’t expect.

It was a colleague who once encouraged me to apply for a leadership role I didn’t think I was ready for. It was a mentor who told me to publish my first book. It was a friend who introduced me to someone who would later become a powerful ally in my work.

Even the moments when I thought I was “failing” alone, I later realized I wasn’t. Someone had been quietly cheering me on, holding space, or simply believing in me when I couldn’t.

Collaboration doesn’t just make us better at what we do — it makes us truer to who we are.

The New Definition of Winning

Winning used to mean being first. Now, to me, winning means being fulfilled.

It means showing up authentically, doing work that matters, and surrounding myself with people who inspire me to rise higher. It means looking at another person’s success and thinking, If she can do it, I can too — not from envy, but from resonance.

It means being in a room where everyone’s brilliance is welcome, where competition dissolves into celebration.

That’s the energy of collaboration. That’s the world I want to live in.

Full Circle

When I think back to those morning walks, the triathlons, the executive meetings, and the communities I’ve built, one thread connects them all: we are better together.

I’m still that person who walks farther when someone’s beside me. I still read the books people recommend. I still light up in conversation. But now I see that it’s not about needing others to motivate me — it’s about recognizing that together, we amplify each other.

We see possibilities we couldn’t see alone.

We heal faster. We grow faster. We rise higher.

We win — together.

A Closing Reflection

As you finish reading this, I want you to pause for just a moment and think about the people who’ve held the ladder for you — the ones who’ve believed in you, supported you, and stood quietly at your side through every climb.

Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: none of us gets to the top alone.

So I’ll leave you with this question, Who has held the ladder for you?